eople come in and out of our lives every day, but that doesn’t make losing a friend any easier. Sometimes the separation between you and your friends is gradual. You both have your own lives with different tasks you need to get done, and hanging out with one another isn’t feasible. Other times you and your friends get into a disagreement and just stop talking.
And perhaps one of the worst types is the friend breakup, where your friend stops talking to you, or as we call it, ghosts you. No matter how hard you try to contact that friend, they never answer or block you from everything together. When this happens, it can be confusing and hurtful to people because they don’t always know what it is that has caused their friend to behave this way towards them.
No matter who initiates the friend breakup, it will hurt, just like when it comes to breakups between couples dating one another. And it is OK to feel upset, but how should you handle how you feel? As you continue reading on, you will learn about some tips to help you get through your friend's breakup and see some parallels between recovering from a dating relationship and the aftermath of losing a friend.
1) Acknowledge how you feel
Losing a friend can not only be mentally draining but also emotionally
If you ask anyone if they have ever had a friend breakup, almost everyone will respond yes. Gaining and losing friends is just another part of life, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less when it happens. For some, the breakup may come out of the blue, while others may have anticipated it for a while.
Although it never feels good to lose a friend, you must take the time to acknowledge it and acknowledge how you feel. Some may move on with their lives as if nothing happened, while others may end up rehashing things or appear sad. You have every right to feel the way you feel and acknowledge your emotions.
2) Do something that makes you happy
This is a tip that can apply to your everyday life as well.
“Do something that makes you happy.” This seems like a pretty obvious statement, right? Well, no matter how obvious of an idea, this may be something that everyone needs to be reminded of from time to time. For example, you may feel down in the dumps after losing a friend. This is OK for a little bit, but after a day or two, you need to try and get out of that mindset, which is easier for some than it may be for others.
One of the best ways to change your attitude is to go out and do something that makes you happy, whether reading, listening to music, binge-watching a show, going out for a walk, etc. By finding something that makes you happy, you are not only distracting yourself from how you may be feeling after losing a friend, but you’re also doing an activity that you enjoy.
3) Talk to someone
Now, if talking about your feelings isn’t your strong suit, this may not be a tip you would use. But for those comfortable talking about their feelings, sometimes talking to someone is one of the best things you can do. So whether you speak with a friend not associated with the situation, a parent, or a therapist, you are permitting yourself to open up about how you feel and feel like you are being listened to—which is sometimes all we need.
One thing to remember when talking to someone about how you are feeling or about a friend's breakup is that they may want to help and try to offer you advice. If this is something you want to avoid, before you start talking to them, you should tell them that you aren’t looking for advice and that you just want them to sit there and listen to you as you talk. This helps prevent any misunderstandings or disagreements from potentially occurring between you and the person listening to you.
4) Put yourself out there
This is something that many people find intimidating to do. It is terrifying to step out of your comfort zone and try something new, including meeting new people. One thing that makes meeting new people so challenging is that you never know what they are thinking or if they are judging how you look or how you talk. But that is part of the deal. When you put yourself out there, you are leaping into the unknown and have to go into it open-minded. The more open-minded you are, the more successful you will be when trying or meeting someone new.
5) Take time to reflect
Taking time to reflect on what led your friendship to end allows you to acknowledge what took place so that you don’t repeat your mistakes.
When we say reflect, we don’t mean to sit there and psychoanalyze every part of your friendship with your ex-friend. What we mean when we say to reflect is to allow yourself to look back on what had happened throughout and consider how you acted and responded to various situations. Were you too judgemental of the things your friends did? Did you take jokes too far or sarcasm too seriously? These are a few of the things that you should ask yourself while you sit there reflecting on the friendship that ended.
6) Unfollow your ex-friend on social media
Once you have had some time to accept the fact that your friendship is over, the next thing you should do is either unfriend them or block them on your social media accounts. They are no longer a part of your life so why should you care what they are posting, and why would you want them to be able to see what you are posting? One thing you could always do is pretend that you don’t know them after you remove their accounts.
That way, if they end up trying to refollow you, you can ignore their friend request the same way that you ignore people that you don’t know. Although this may be hard for you when you initially go and do this, in the end, you will be much happier than you did. Doing this will prevent you from sitting there and allowing yourself to become sad as you watch them post pictures of themselves out with other friends or on whatever vacation they may find themselves on.
7) Don’t force your mutual friends to pick sides
This isn’t fair to you or to them
One of the worst things that you can do when you and a friend have a friend break is ask your friends to pick sides. Especially if they are mutual friends, that is like asking a little kid to pick which parent they love more in the middle of a divorce. No matter what, it will be a no-win situation and everyone will end up hurt one way or another.
The best thing that you can do when it comes to friends is to hang out with them when they aren’t hanging out with your ex-friend and to try not to concern yourself with what your friend and ex-friend may be doing together. It is no use to overthink it and all it will do is make you think about the past too much. So it is best to just enjoy the time you spend with your friends while with them and accept that whatever happens in life will happen.
8) Prepare how will you react if you see or meet your ex-friend in public
Now you can sit there and imagine how you may react if you saw your ex-friend in public. You may have the best plans on how to avoid an awkward encounter. You might be a person who decides to go say hi and see how they are doing. Or you may be the type of person who turns away or rushes past them as if they don’t exist. These are all different scenarios to consider when it comes to the possibility of running into your ex-friend in public.
The main thing to take away from this is that friend breakup hurt, but that over time, old wounds will heal and you will learn to one day look back at this particular time in your life and focus on the good times you had.