o you have decided to take the plunge we hear? Well, congratulations! No doubt you have experienced what moving was like, whether you moved into college or a new house with your family, but with your partner, it can be different.
This is the person you clearly see a future with so there is some pressure and new experiences to be had. It truly is a test/trial run into your lives together so take a deep breath and allow us to walk you through some tips on how to move in with your partner successfully.
First things first, make sure this is what you want
Now we know you have obviously decided this is what you and your partner want but be sure that you both understand what it is you’re getting into. Consider the length of your relationship and the quirky attributes you bring to the table in your daily home life.
We are different when we are alone versus being around others and because of that you both need to know what you need in your daily routine. Set boundaries about cleaning or who is cooking on a certain day.
Don’t get too wrapped up in the excitement and jump into something you cannot readily exit at any time. We want to help make this relationship as stress-free as possible-- the rest of the world gives you enough to worry about already.
We know you must have already been around each other a great deal, but it is not the same as living in the same place every day.
This is the time where you lay it all on the table because you want to make sure this is the absolute best decision for the two of you. Once you have done this your first step is complete then you can get into the nitty-gritty details of it all.
Maybe give it a trial run?
This could be a trial run to avoid any mistakes you may feel you make. Decide on who’s place you should try this out at, but make sure you can be around each other all day. Do this for a few days and see if there are any issues.
This will be far less pressure considering there is no lease and either of you can leave if you need to.
And just in general, be sure to try to be around your partner as much as possible leading up to this decision. This will simply ensure that you two won’t go crazy having to be so close all of the time.
It is a helpful step we think you should consider.
Everything needs to be decided together/equally
Maybe you think your girlfriend has got the decorations of your future place covered because she has had her eye on themes for forever-- while this is great, both partners need to have an opinion of what is best for your SHARED place.
It can be tempting to want to shut each other's ideas out because you think they are implausible but allow them to speak their minds.
This place needs to be a home for the both of you and whether that is splitting rooms that you each have the freedom to decorate or compromising on whoever's mother passed down a set of pans you will use, communicate. It will allow each person to feel accomplished in making the house perfect for the two of you.
It will be much more fun when you bring both of your personalities into your shared home and it will prevent some useless fights if one person makes all of the decisions.
Have fun decorating! Make it perfect for both of you.
It’s ok to take time for yourselves
Since you two will be around each other all of the time, remember to allow time for each of you to recharge. Having alone time is crucial for anyone's mental health.
Take a long walk, watch your favorite movie, hell maybe take a nap!
You need time to reevaluate and remind yourself what it feels like to prioritize your well-being. It can be easy to simply rely on someone else because they are now always present, but do not get in the habit of this.
And have the same respect for your partner, if they need time away it does not mean that they don’t care for you anymore, they might just need that solitude. Remember it is only healthy. It will also prevent the overwhelming feelings you may have being together.
And keep in mind if everything goes well and you two eventually start a family, you will start to miss that precious alone time so take advantage!
Respect each others’ habits
We touched on this before but we had to dedicate a section of these tips to it because of its importance. Though you will be changing your living situations, you and your partner will both bring your set routines.
Maybe that is doing a home workout for a certain amount of time a day, or maybe getting ready for the day in a certain pattern. Regardless of the circumstance your partner will have to learn how to not disturb what it is you need to do. And that goes for the both of you.
Respect that we all have certain things we need to do to feel accomplished or ready for the day and that is fine. Just be sure to communicate to your partner that they will need to understand how to cope.
Usually this isn’t a real deal breaker unless of course you’re making your partner participate in your three mile run at six AM. That may be something you cannot convince them to do.
Talk about possible additions to your possible family!
Now don’t freak out, we don’t mean you have to jump into the conversation of having children. No rather we mean maybe talk about buying a pet for your house. Many can consider this a trial baby because in many cases they don’t need nearly as much but still need that love and attention.
Pets quite literally increase the feelings of happiness and who could argue with that? Take a look at a kitten or a golden retriever and say your heart doesn’t skip a beat. A furry friend could be perfect if you two have the time and money to invest in one.
Now if you are both financially and mentally ready maybe this is the time to talk about the plans of future children. You are taking the steps towards building a life together so just make sure you are both on the same track because that could really be a make or break situation for the two of you.
Obviously do not jump the gun for either of these things if you two are not ready, after all you need to worry about yourselves first.
Now all of the financials
This may seem like common sense but it is very useful to make a budget list of all of the things you will both need during this moving process.
We see far too often financial struggle being a reason to end things. In fact, money and finances are one of the five reasons couples get a divorce. You may think going into this that you will have enough money to fully furnish your place and still pay rent but it helps to put that all onto paper.
Maybe consider a month by month budgeting process to keep from making too many payments on things that are not necessary.
Consider the state of the jobs you are both in and how stable they will be in the coming months/years and plan for anything.
We wish you the best of luck
Overall this is such an exciting step to take with someone you care for. We have seen many examples of what can happen when couples do not talk and plan and let the adrenaline of love fuel them into a future mistake.
But that’s why we are here! To aid you in the process, and encourage the most communication possible. Have fun and enjoy yourselves and your love.