dulting (noun): living life as an adult, which can consist of tasks such as: big ones like attending a college (a good one…actually the best, or at least better than that Ivy League college that your best friend is going to), getting a job (any job, but it has to have good pay, a nice professional environment, and oh, health insurance, please!!!), getting married (at least so that your parents and the rest of your family can shut up), having kids (a topic that deserves an entirely separate blog for), and smaller (but no less important) ones like attending office parties, paying bills, attending practices or rehearsals, cleaning and cooking, etc., etc. It can be such a drag sometimes.
Basically, adulting is doing what is expected of you by your family, your friends, your teachers, your pets, your lovers, your entire society, the entire world, really…but always, just under the surface, you’re itching to just let go, unplug, log out.
There is the desire to show a responsible, respectable, and trustworthy image when adulting, but the thing with adulting is that no matter how much one conforms and adults on, the more a person’s life force can be drained. One cannot even begin to describe just how taxing, and especially boring, adulting can be, but these memes can probably make you smile, pluck one of your heartstrings, and make you feel that there is at least one individual who gets how you feel after doing all of your adulting stuff. Basically, these memes depict being done with adulting, but adulting never being done with you.
This one is so simple: adulting requires you to give all of your strength, physical, mental, emotional, psychological, but then you’re done and now you’re cold and hungry. Hey, who‘s the one who is supposed to warm you right up and feed you as part of his or her adulting checklist? Is there an app to call someone, or text, or something? Where’s the life preserver? Also...what’s in the fridge? I’m getting really hungry now.
You can feel it in your bones on most days just how maddening the day is going to be, and even when the day is done, tomorrow is still going to be there and the day after that…Like I said, adulting is never going to leave you alone, never! There is no possibility of ever being completely done adulting in life…so at least you can pass whatever little free time you have looking at some of these memes!
You’re done adulting for the day, but this…this can never leave your mind. I mean, why? Just…why? If I’m not correct, people are being paid to do this, right? Then why hang up? Don’t these people get paid by the hour, like how many hours they stay on the phone? Or is this a huge prank being played on me, and on everyone else…Yeah, that’s probably it: all of them decide each day at what time to hang up, even if the call is important, and then they hang up at that time and sit in their offices, trying desperately not to laugh too loudly so that the manager won’t hear…Yeah, that’s probably what it is, since it can’t be because I wasn’t nice. I was really nice, and I didn’t even scream at the kids…more than three times.
Yes…that scene from Mission Impossible…no, Ocean’s Twelve, when that French guy, what’s-his-face, goes through those moving lasers to get to…a painting? No, the Fabergé egg…yeah, yeah, that egg. Yeah…dodging that adulting stuff takes about the same energy used in that film scene. If only the skills of that French guy were taught in high school as a warm-up exercise in the class Adulting 101…you wouldn’t be feeling so bushed after using those skills to face, rather than avoid, your adulting responsibilities.
And as for the dating app DMs and nosy aunt…yeah, those should definitely be avoided. I wonder who trained that French guy…does he or she teach?
This is so relatable, especially on a personal level. Procrastination is the sworn enemy of adulting, but she’s so nice, you guys. She’s like, so relaxed, she doesn’t have deadlines, and there’s a sense of peace around her…although she’s really more like the calm before the storm of adulting comes thundering, snatching what little precious free time you had, and blowing you out of your place to get to work barely on time and submitting mediocre (or really trash) reports to your boss.
Ah, yes…that really important adulting task: trying to keep your bank balance from reaching zero dollars, or…negative numbers (THE HORROR!). It’s like a video game: going around, collecting money after doing some work, then you stop by the store, and that’s where the magic happens: from 3,000 coins to only 5 at the end of the day, just for some cherry trees and chickens (by the way, do people still play FarmVille?)
Ugh, the collateral damage when trying to get your adulting done. You may get your work done, but sometimes someone could get hurt, and it’s definitely looked down on to explode (even though I had to throw away those avocados, because they were getting spoiled, and no one else eats them but you, Sarah!). Then, you have to explain the whole thing, and boy, can that be painful!
This is definitely going to happen, at least to me; the process has begun a little early, actually, for me. That’s what is so great about being done with adulting for the day: you can start seeing it slowly erode you bit by bit.
DON’T YOU DARE. This should really be a rule of thumb: the first rule about adulting is that you don’t talk about adulting, the second rule: STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT ADULTING, WE GET IT, WE’RE ALL ADULTS HERE, it’s not like we’re admitting some kids in who don’t know what you’re talking about, GEEZ.
Oh yes. Time flies when you’re younger but slows down when we’re older. What is time trying to catch up with?
Oh the sweet, sweet comfort of social media, junk food, video games and Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hulu/Disney+/whatever other streaming service is out there, did I tell you how much I love you all? And also how you’re basically preventing me from being an adult? But I love you…but I hate you…but I love you…hate you…love you…
Yes, after doing all the adulting you’re supposed to, all you’re left with are pennies, maybe a couple of nickels and dimes...and if you're really lucky, some quarters, too!
Can someone let me know when Sleep and Adulting finally make up? Until then, I’ll be watching these old monologues from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
Hey everyone, today on my doorstep, was the most beautiful, charming and sweetest thing in the world; Guys, I think I’m in love…with my new Instant Pot.
“Well, lets see…I am not working at my dream job, I haven’t been having great sleep, I haven’t had a boyfriend since never so I have a nonexistent sex life, and I’ve been microwaving pasta and alternating between having it with marinara sauce and alfredo for the past two months…so....yeah, everything's been good so far, don’t you think?”
About to fall asleep:
Phone: WAKE UP, SOMEONE COMMENTED ON ONE OF YOUR PHOTOS! QUICK, WRITE SOME GREAT REPLY!! THEN BE DISTRACTED BY NEW COOKING VIDEOS!!!
That’s such a weird and random…actually, wait, that’s actually a good question: Where is it? Ohmygod what if something happens, and I need to prove I’m a citizen?!? Oh God, now I won’t sleep until I find it! Yet another item on my adulting to-do list.
I could go for something potato-y…Maybe some fries…and a chocolate milkshake…oh, and some chicken tenders, with ranch and sriracha sauce…Wait, what? Huh, so sorry, I was dreaming about food.
For the love of hamburgers and chicken tenders and fries, PLEASE DON’T GROW UP! I wonder what it would be like if the whole world only consisted of children and teenagers…Actually, no, that would be a horrible situation. No, I need to get that out of my mind. Yeah, so I'm not really that lucky, kid. You probably have someone who has to wake you up, put your your clothes on you, feed you, drop you wherever you need to be (for free!!), etc. Why can't I have someone like- oh, wait...
Wait, WHAT?!?! I can’t stop, or tag someone in to take my place, or something? Why didn’t someone tell me earlier, like when I was three or something??
Adulting: looks real easy on paper and in your imagination, but trust me when I tell you that “adulting” is something you just put up with, until one day, someone else can do your “adulting” for you.
Who? Why, your kids when they’re older, maybe even your grandkids. Or maybe the nicest nurse or caretaker at “The Home”