t can be difficult to start a conversation over text. You don’t have the benefit of being face to face, and can’t read each other’s body language to judge how the conversation is going. On the other hand, you do have the benefit of being able to respond in your own time. This can lead to more well thought out responses that lend themselves to a deeper conversation full of philosophical thoughts and care. To get started in a conversation that you aren’t sure about, look to these easy conversation starters and descriptions about why they will help you have a better conversation. In this article, find:

  • Conversation starters
  • Descriptions of why these conversation starters will get your conversation farther
Hand holding smartphone and coffee cup
Starting a conversation over text message has its positives and negatives. It can be both simpler and straightforward as well as a bit daunting and foreign.

Helpful conversation starters to lead the way in a text message interaction

These are conversation starters with descriptions of how they will spark a conversation

Some of these conversation starters are simple, as a matter of fact most of them are, while some are more detailed and can lead to more in depth conversations.

Texting can be an easy way to get a platonic or romantic relationship off on the right foot, if you keep the conversation light and open, with positive vibes all around and inquisitive minds at the ready.

Text Starter #1: What will you be doing this weekend?

Open with an inquiry about the person you are texting, such as “What will you be doing this weekend?” This question, while slightly vague and impersonal, can be taken as something that is more personal and specific to who you are texting. Then, it can open up the conversation to more broad topics such as interests and more about what they like doing on a weekend normally and how this weekend may vary. It can also open up the conversation and possibly bring you together to do something in person!

Text Starter #2: How would you describe yourself in three words?

Another conversation starter can be more specific and help you learn about the person you are newly texting with. “How would you describe yourself in three words?” can start a much deeper conversation, or it can keep the conversation light and lead to you comparing yourself with the person you are texting with and open up about similarities and differences that you find between yourselves. Additionally, you will be able to learn about the person you are texting with on a level that they find to be personal with themselves, as they describe themselves and then you can follow up on different aspects of how they are describing themselves.

Text Starter #3: Who have you been friends with longest, and how did you meet?

In the same vein of learning more about the person you are getting to know more about, you can ask questions about their lives to help you learn more about them and their personal life. “Who have you been friends with longest, and what have your relationships been like?” is a conversation starter that will help both of you learn more about the other person. The conversation can also take the route of finding out where they met these people and possibly having things in common such as meeting people in college or at work, or even in elementary school or at summer camp.

Text Starter #4: What’s your favorite season?

“What’s your favorite season?” is a simple question to get a conversation going over text that can lead to much more in detail conversation and inquiry. Asking more follow up questions like why is that season your favorite can lead to similarities if you share a favorite season with one another, or a playful disagreement that can maybe lead you to change your mind or have a change of heart. This conversation can lead to you talking about topics that are related to the season you have a passion about, such as skiing in the winter or going to the beach in the summer. If you both love the changing leaves in the fall, then that is the perfect conversation starter to learn more about why you love this and that will bring you closer together.

Woman smiling while looking at a smartphone
A text conversation can lead to more inquiries about the person you are texting with, and further a relationship that is just starting out.

Creative Conversation Starters to Up Your Texting Game

Looking for a conversation starter that's a little more exciting? Try these!

Some conversation starters can take on different topics that you had never thought of bringing up in a first conversation. These can be topics with a wide range of variety

Text Starter #5: What did you want to be when you were little, and does any of that still hold up today?

One of these seemingly unusual topics to bring up early on in a conversation is “What did you want to be when you were little, and does any of that still hold up today?” This can give greater insight into the person’s life, dreams, and goals for the future. If what they wanted to be when they grew up actually turned out, you can tell that this person sticks to their guns and once they are set on a goal, they never give up. If on the other hand what they wanted to be was a pipe dream and never came to fruition, you can learn about what happened and share stories with them about your dreams and what actually happened!

Text Starter #6: Are you working on anything exciting at the moment?

The conversation starter “Are you working on anything exciting at the moment?” can lend itself to talking about each other’s job or side projects that would never be a topic of conversation until well into much later conversations. Bringing up this topic early on can not only break the ice, but also start the back and forth conversation that will lead to exciting topics based on things that you are both excited about on a personal level. In addition, it will get the ball rolling with conversations about things you can work on together, such as side projects and hobbies that interest the both of you. 

Text Starter #7: What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read recently?

The conversation starter “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read recently” can get the ball rolling on topics that intrigue the person you are texting, and lend itself to learning about them in a different way than you had originally thought possible. You may have books in common that you have both read, or they may suggest an interesting article about a topic you have been looking to learn more about. Additionally, learning more about something that they have read recently that interests them can lead to insight about what they find interesting and whether you will be able to vibe with them on that level.

Text Starter #8: What makes you nervous?

Asking “What makes you nervous?” as a conversation starter may seem very forward and look to make the person you are texting feel overly vulnerable. On the other hand, it can be telling to see how they react, whether in a positive way or negative way. It can let you know how they deal with vulnerability and take the relationship to the next level in a rather quick way. If they feel comfortable in responding to this question, then you will be able to continue the conversation in either agreement or share other aspects that make you nervous and then they will be able to react accordingly.

Text Starter #9: Do you have any hidden talents?

The conversation starter “Do you have any hidden talents?” may seem like a random question, but it can be a fun conversation starter that opens up the door to many possibilities of additional conversations. Depending on the answer, you may have similar hidden talents, or be completely surprised by what they are saying and share your shock and awe with them. This can lead them to feel special just by you buttering them up. Additionally, when you meet in person you may be able to share these hidden talents with one another, just another way that the texting conversation will be able to lead to future conversations and meetings.

Man leaning against a window looking at a smartphone
At first, texting with a new person can be new, uncharted territory, but with the right conversation starters, your chat should flow smoothly and you and the person you are texting with will be able to open up.

Additional conversation starters

Not all conversation starters over text have to be questions

These conversation starters are more broad and cover topics that are far reaching. These can in turn lend themselves to conversations that will extend further and be more in depth.

Text Starter #10: Talk about hobbies

One of these conversation starters can be to talk about hobbies. This can be both hobbies that you enjoy as well as to start to learn about what hobbies they like. From there, the conversation should flow, you both contributing to the discussion and sharing what you like most about the other’s contribution. 

Text Starter #11: “I can’t believe what’s going on right now”

This discussion can be about something that is happening in the world, such as a major event in the news, or something more local to either one of your communities. This can then turn into a conversation that is more serious, or take a turn for the lighter hearted.

Starting a conversation over text can be overwhelming when you don’t have the proper mindset going into it. Use any number of these conversation starters to get the ball rolling and learn more about the person you are sparking up a conversation with.

Sep 18, 2020