he world is teeming with technology that is evolving everyday that works to connect people. Talking to someone through a device is different compared to being in person. It’s (near) impossible to read their body language or see the mood shift at the drop of a hat. That doesn’t mean you can’t create meaningful relationships through text though! We have compiled some tips and tricks to get you up to speed.

Tips to Expect:

  • How to get them to open up
  • What you should and shouldn’t ask
  • Things to look out of for in your texting habits

They just texted you and you need to hurry and respond? No worries, just read on!

Text Tactics

  1. Pass The Ball

It’s no fun for the other players in a sport’s game if someone is clutching to the ball and not passing, the same can be said for a conversation. It can be really exciting to share details about yourself, like what your comfort show is or favorite band. There is nothing wrong with that and the world deserves to hear about you!

…In small increments. Allow the other person to open up about who they are. This can be a difficult feat if the other person is continuously overshadowing them. It may make them feel like they aren’t interesting enough. So take turns asking questions and getting to know all of their particularities!

  1. Yes? No? No…

Close ended questions can make a conversation feel so stagnant. Because if the other person is only replying with a simple “yes” or “no” then it’s hard to wiggle any more information out of them. Be sure to incorporate some open ended questions into the mix!

Here are some examples of open ended questions you could ask:

  • What is something you are looking forward to this year?
  • If you could visit any place in the world, where would it be and why?
  • What are some of your hobbies?

If the question can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no” then you are good to go!

Woman in a red jacket looking down at her phone at a train station.
Taking a few minutes to thoughtfully respond to a text is encouraged. Waiting too long to respond may cause the conversation to fizzle out.
  1. Make Use of Those Gifs

This may be a bit silly and totally not your thing but occasionally sharing gifs, memes, and emojis can liven up a conversation fast! Adding these to your messages can help convey a feeling or tone that is hard to articulate through words. It will relay your intentions without you having to over explain yourself.

Keeping in mind the context and mood of the conversation when using gifs, memes in emojis is crucial. Before choosing and sending one make sure that the recipient will likely be able to appreciate or understand it.

  1. Active Listening

Use information that they have shared in previous texts to refer back to. This can be done in a few ways and for a few reasons. By recalling past snippets of what they said you will be simultaneously validating the significance of your exchanges. Essentially that their conversations with you are important enough to be remembered! That’s always a good feeling.

Referring back to previous conversations creates a sense of continuity between you and the other person- a shared history if you will. It can also be a subtle way to express your fondness for them! Illustrating that you cherish them and your time together even if it is via texting.

  1. Just Popping By!

Show them that you care about their well being and daily life by checking in with them. Everybody has a busy life so reaching out to connect in the midst of the craziness demonstrates that you can make time for them. It also makes for a great opportunity to share how your day is going as well!

Here are some ways to check in:

  • How are you doing today?
  • Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Let me know if you need anything!
  • You mentioned earlier that you had a big meeting, how did that go?

Curate the questions so that they fit your texting style and so they have specific details between you and the other person!

  1. Go With The Flow

Getting to know someone new is nerve wracking especially if you really want them to like you! I have had my fair share of these moments so you are not alone in this experience. Your nerves may be telling you to appear a certain way, a way that might give you a better chance in likeability points. This doesn’t always work… People can notice whenever someone isn’t letting their authentic self show.

Expressing yourself in a genuine manner builds trust in any relationship or friendship. It promotes deep, meaningful connections that a superficial mask could never build. Besides, you won’t have to be stressed about maintaining any appearances. Your sincerity is beautiful so don’t hide it!

Tattooed man with long hair texts on his phone while sitting on a curb. Tattooed man with long hair texts on his phone while sitting on a curb.
The person that you are texting might also be nervous about keeping the conversation going. So relax, and don’t put any pressure on yourself. You got this!
  1. Words: They Can Woo

Nothing like adding a little bit of *spice* to add variety to the conversation! If the desired recipient of the text is a romantic partner then this might be the tip for you. Being a little flirtatious while texting can foster a playful mood and build intimacy.

Moreso, excitement and anticipation will build for the next time that you will talk to one another! Encouraging them to reach out to you again and vice versa. Add some flirty emojis or witty phrases to get the ball rolling. Sharing inside jokes that only you two would know can deepen the bond and encourage a sense of exclusivity.

Here is an example of what could happen:

Other Person: The weather has been so rainy lately, I’ve been stuck at home.

You: Well, dreary days are perfect for cuddling and watching a movie. I’m free…

  1. Closing Time

We know what you are probably thinking, something like “I thought this was an article to keep the conversation going, not on how to end it?!” Texting may be many things but it does not have to be a test of endurance. Eventually the other person or even yourself will get tired or run out of things to talk about.

Noticing that the conversation is coming to a natural end is not a bad thing, we promise! This means that there is more to be talked about at a later time, leaving the other person wanting more and not feeling as if they are being bombarded. We recommend making plans for a future conversation as well as ending on a positive note!

Signs that the conversation is ending:

  • The other person isn’t asking about you
  • Short answers
  • Longer reply time
  • A change of mood
Curly haired woman smiling while talking on the phone.
Texting doesn’t have to be stressful and formulaic, it should be fun! Remember to be yourself and not get too caught up in the small stuff.
  1. Breathe In… Then Out

If you feel yourself overthinking a majority of the messages you send, it might be beneficial to take a short break. Focusing on thoughtful answers for an extended amount of time can require a lot of brain power. Taking a moment to recollect yourself will give your mind a necessary refresh before jumping back into the conversation.

On the off chance that the conversation doesn’t seem to be going well, don’t put so much pressure on yourself! The other person may be having an off day (we’re human after all) or they are preoccupied with a task. You can express your concern or wait until the conversation normalizes again!

Feeling Brave? Try A Video Call

If possible for your situation, try opting for a video call instead of strictly chatting over text! Communicating with the other person in a visual manner allows you to pick up the nonverbal cues you may not notice if texting. Which can help reduce any possible miscommunications.

A call can be especially helpful if your schedules aren’t matching up and texting just isn’t cutting it anymore. Even a short call consisting of five to ten minutes can make up for a day of texting. Don’t spring a call on them without checking in first just in case they are busy. There might be some awkwardness if it's your first time calling them but stay cool and be brave!

Navigating conversations through a digital medium can be a daunting task. Whether it is through texting or face to face, what matters is that you are creating meaningful connections. Now you are equipped with our tips and tricks so that you never miss a beat!

Mar 8, 2024