How Can I Make Friends in College?

f you’re an introvert and you’re about to step into one of the biggest changes in your life, then you might find yourself anxious about making friends. And rightly so, you’re usually moving to a place very unlike your home— or at least filled with people who are nothing like your friends and family at home. With stressful academics, a new living situation, and probably a more drastic separation from your family than ever before, the transition into college is an incredibly stressful time for a lot of people. 

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And while you may be inclined to lean on your parents or siblings or your friends at home who may also be going through the same things you are, you should ultimately be trying to make friends in this new world that you’re all sharing. Your old friends are familiar, but if you want to succeed in college then you should embrace your new environment. And that’s scary, but it is for the best. You’ll benefit much more from creating a support circle that is close to you rather than one that’s far away.

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But how do you make friends? It can be difficult even in the best circumstances. If friends don’t happen to fall in your lap (as they sometimes can), you may find yourself doing a lot of work to seek out friendships on your college campus. So here are a couple of places you can look to try and form lasting friendships in college. Just remember, there will be people you connect with and people you don’t. You can be friends with anyone, but if you are looking for good lasting friends, then you should find people whom you connect with best.

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Where to find potential friends

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First of all, your roommate(s). They’re the people you will be with for a statistically significant amount of time. And while roommate horror stories abound online, it’s worth at least being friendly with them to make your living experience more bearable. If you are lucky, then you have a good friend to come home to at the end of the day every day (if they’re not out all night).

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Most colleges have orientation periods for you to meet and talk to students, but that’s too obvious of a point to make in this discussion (but worth going to!). But during this period, it can be worth spending time with your roommate to get to know them. If you didn’t know them at all before you got here, then it can be good to establish a connection with them! At the worst, they’ll just be glad you’re friendly. 

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Secondly, events hosted by your college. Gatherings, official parties, and opportunities to explore campus life will abound and if you attend them then you may find people who you like and like you in return. Don’t be afraid to share your Instagram account or something similar, because it may be the only way to track people down after you meet them once or twice. 

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Thirdly, student-run organizations. This is a big one! Colleges love hosting club fairs, so don’t be afraid to seek out clubs that align with your interests or identity. While these established organizations may seem scary, they are founded in the interest of attracting new members and establishing a community. In fact, they probably want you there! So go ahead, because college campuses have more people who are like you than you might think. There are definitely strange and silly clubs right next to the ones that take themselves seriously (looking at you, school newspapers). There is truly a little something for everyone. 

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These clubs are full of people you probably wouldn’t meet otherwise, so it’s worth giving a fair shake to look for people you like. 

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Fourthly, your dang classes! The most guaranteed social interaction you’ll ever get. Through group projects or being forced to talk in pairs, there’s always a chance you’ll end up clicking with someone you talk to, and then you need to take it from there. Academic advisors also might set up events through your major, and that’s a good way to talk to the people in your classes in a non-class setting where you can get to know each other.

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For all of these places, the idea remains that you are essentially casting a wide net to find friends. And chances are, you will succeed. But once you find them, the real challenge starts, and that is keeping them. If you leave people hanging or wait too long to respond or stay in your room all the time, people might just forget about you. Don’t be afraid to reach out to hang out, ask new friends to get lunch with you between classes or have study sessions for difficult classes. In most colleges, STEM majors are probably going to get a lot more work. This sucks for spending time with friends, but makes ample time for study sessions which can potentially be just as fruitful.

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And in casting your wide net, you may end up meeting people that you sort of like, but don’t really click with. Don’t be afraid to be social with these people either, just for fun or for networking if you care about making good connections. But the people you go to parties with, the people you go exploring with, those you should be careful with choosing.

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If you can’t figure it out too easily, there is a good metric to figure out who you want to spend your time with. Consider someone you’re friends with: ask yourself if you’d share a drink with them, and if you’d trust them to take care of your puppy for the weekend. Of course, you can be friends with anyone and you will meet people who fall on all sides of this hypothetical. If you’d like to share a drink with them but you wouldn’t trust them with a little puppy, then they’re a good lunch friend. If you would give them your dog but they seem bad to drink with then they might be a little bit boring to you but are ultimately good and responsible people to have around. If you wouldn’t do either with someone, you probably won’t end up being very good friends with them in the first place. And the people who are both are the ones to keep around. 

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But as a note, it is worth being a little bit careful at times. It can be easy to fall into bad friendships even if you don’t intend to.

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So when you have friends, you will probably meet their friends. And their friends’ friends, and so on. Making a few friends is an excellent gateway to making even more friends! 

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But the best tip of all is just not to worry about it too much. You are bound to meet all kinds of people in the crucible of undergraduate education. Some of them will be great, a lot of them will be forgettable, and some of them will be not so nice. But of all the people who leave a lasting impression on you, don’t be afraid to go up and say hello to them. The odds are that they’re feeling the same way that you are. This terrifying journey is easier to embark upon with friends. 

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Thanks so much for reading to this point! If you liked this article, then you will definitely love these. Here’s a topical one about how to find a good roommate. Or, here is an article about how to handle rejection in college.

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