oes the prospect of dating in your 30s feel overwhelming? It shouldn't! While previous generations saw couples settling down in their teens, we live in an age where people are building strong relationships and dating in their 20s and 30s, and often don't settle down to build families until their late 30s or beyond. It's becoming the new norm.
While women in their 30s may be thinking about the ticking time bomb that is their ability to become pregnant, this shouldn’t be a hamper on the ins and outs of dating life. Being open to the possibility of new relationships can lead to new possibilities on the horizon.
Additionally, there are many ways to become pregnant in alternate scenarios, and dating may be a part of this new reality. Aside from looking that far ahead into the future, there are a few important tips to know as a guide to dating in your 30s, and if you are curious about those tips, you’re in the right place.
In this article we'll give you a roadmap to dating in your 30s. We'll be covering:
- Older and wiser people leads to more successful relationships
- Time doesn’t have to be a major factor in dating
- How to date smarter (with the help of technology and dating apps)
More successful relationships are possible when you’re more experienced
Allow yourself the opportunity to be in a relationship that is more mature
This may involve dating a divorcée, as now that you are older, there is more of a likelihood that the person you are dating has been married before. Don’t let this get you down. According to the American Psychological Association, the divorce rate is between 40 and 50 percent. In fact, this can be a positive, as your significant other may have experiences that can only lead to positive outcomes in their new relationship.
You know what you want and the relationships you find will only benefit from this. Maybe you wanted someone who is ambitious and fully invested in their job, while still putting you first. This can relay to seeking out someone who isn’t maybe exactly what you pictured always having, but is similar to this ultimate partner that you imagined.
Know how to ask for what you want. Figure out that perfect way to not only make sure that you are getting involved with someone that fits your lifestyle, but also can properly satisfy your wants and needs, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. This may involve expressing yourself in the more serious conversations about life decisions such as kids and family matters, or something as trivial as where to have a date-- that no, you would rather stay in tonight and not go clubbing again for the third week in a row. Now that you are older and somewhat wiser, it is possible to be fully confident in asking for what you want. You know what you want, and you are able to put these desires into action by seamlessly asking for them.
Learning from past mistakes is another way that experience can be a positive influence on future relationships. If you have had tough lessons learned from past relationships, such as times that you could have forgiven a situation faster than you did looking back on it, these times can be directly related to dating in the now. Being open and honest about past relationships is one way to lead to open and honest future relationships. Also, allowing past relationships to take a backseat in future ones makes sure that the past isn’t ruining or influencing the present.
Time doesn’t have to be a major factor
Your 30s are the perfect time to explore different relationships than you have had in the past, and expand your horizons when looking for that special someone
It may seem that you have tried to date many people, and even if some relationships were successful, overall, you have had no luck in the outcomes of relationships. In this sense, you may be down on your luck, and be hard on yourself about having little to no luck. This just isn’t the case, at least not completely. In actuality, you are still young and have plenty of time to explore.
Not only do you have plenty of time to explore more in-depth relationships as well as discover new things about yourself that you may not have known in your 20s, but time doesn’t have to be a major factor because you can think about all the time in the future that you still have to date and think about marriage. This also goes for branching out of your usual dates or people you have dated in the past. For example, take time to think of new dating ideas either over various video chats or in person, ranging from playing games to break the ice to more in depth conversations and dinner dates that can deepen the relationship.
When you are less focused on the stress of a limited time frame and focus instead on the wide range of various activities you can enjoy with your partner, you are sure to become more open to future relationships if the one you are in isn’t exactly your cup of tea. While it may be overwhelming to meet people in your 30s online if you are not used to the dating sites, it can be eye opening and allow you to further investigate something out of your comfort zone.
Additionally, when you aren’t thinking about a specific timeline of when you need to be married or why you have to go on a certain amount of dates in a certain amount of time, you can instead think about the quality of person you are dating as well as the quality of the actual date. Quality over quantity is the key, even if it is tempting to get in as many dates with as many people as possible to see what works and doesn’t work for you. This strategy may be good for some people. In this way you can narrow down what types of people jive with your lifestyle in your 30s. If your job and future career goals are your top priority and dating is second tier, quality over quantity can be the perfect way to focus your attention on dating as well.
Dating smarter involves creative ways to work around the proverbial “dating system”
From dating apps and websites to talking over the web, the possibilities are nearly endless
Letting go of expectations of “a type” leads to a wider pool of possibilities. If in your 20s you looked to have a good time and only date people you were attracted to on the outside, now is the time to let those preconceived notions fall by the wayside. This also goes for thinking that you only want to date the life-of-the-party, or someone who makes you laugh. While your attraction to the funny, life-of-the-party can be well and good, it may be superficial and not necessarily the most pertinent of information to that which will flourish in the future.
This also goes for the ability to steer clear of relationships that aren’t up to par for your standards. Even if this means going out of your comfort zone and into a relationship that isn’t what you would usually go for, it still remains true to the notion of maintaining standards and allowing for new possibilities to arise. This may mean stepping out of your comfort zone in a major way. But the benefits will only be positive. Even if the relationship falls flat, there will be personal growth and lots of experience gained.
From Bumble and Tinder, to Hinge and dating sites such as eHarmony, these technological outlets prove as ways to let your experience and age shine. While Tinder is often thought of as a “hookup site,” in actuality, the majority of its users are looking for longer term relationships. This can offer you more possibilities, and the more 30-somethings that go on the site, the more options are available. Additionally, letting go of the expectation of dating someone exactly in your age range allows for a wider range of experiences to infiltrate your web, and therefore more possibilities can abound.
Dating in your 30s is a different ballgame than when you were younger. From being a more experienced person to knowing more of what you want, it can be a game changer and a whole different situation when you are dating as an older and wiser person than you were when you were just out of college in your 20s. Lean into the possibilities you have for a great dating life and the dating scene will meet you back where you are.