ealing with your parents' divorce at any age is never easy. It’s the end of an era and can cause destruction between members of the family. But if they decide to get divorced when you're older, this could be even more difficult and cause more confusion since they’ve been together your whole life. This blog will teach you exactly how to deal with a parent’s divorce in your 20s. 

Things To Remember 

Younger vs Older When Dealing With Divorce 

Dealing with any sort of family change is hard. Whether that’s someone moving out, someone moving in, or a separation of parents. Any sort of change for people of any age is difficult to deal with or handle, especially if it’s unexpected or out of the blue as well. But, if this change happens after years and years of steadiness within a family, it can be even harder to understand why it happened and can be tricky to comprehend. 

If your parents get divorced while you’re still young, people tend to have more sympathy since you’re still a child. Divorce becomes a standard for your life and eventually fades as you get older. But for someone in their 20s who’s already dealing with interviews, relationships, and possibly even their own children and their own life, it can cause more unneeded stress. 

With this added stress you could also be wondering why it took your parents such a long time to end things, which can be hard to accept. But just by remembering that it will most likely be better for them, and can make all the difference. If this happens to be your situation, this blog will teach you different ways how to deal with divorce as an adult yourself! 

Two young children hugging their parent in a field
Divorce can be difficult to cope with at any age, but it is possible to make it through with support.

Although divorce is hard on people of any age, it can sometimes be even tougher for those in their 20s or older since they’ve never had that sort of change in their life up until this moment. After living with them for years of stability, it can be scary to try and accept their divorce as well since everything has been or has seemed to have been fine for years on end.

And even though people may think that since an adult is grown up that they can handle the divorce better than a child, this statement is very untrue. It can actually be very tough on them since extended family celebrations may get cancelled since one parent isn’t invited and one may worry if both parents will even attend certain events like graduations and weddings. It can also be cause for many questions like why now? And why not earlier when you were a child living with them? 

How To Deal And Cope with Your Parents’ Divorce

Figuring Out How To Cope Can Make All The Difference! 

When going through any type of traumatic life change like this, it’s important to always understand your feelings and talk about them when necessary. It’s also very important to understand that it was never your fault that they decided to separate in the first place. Although that can be hard to accept and understand, these are both key things to remember. Some other tips and things to remember when dealing with a divorce can include: 

  • Accepting your emotions. For any type of change in life, whether dramatic or small, accepting your emotions is one of the first steps in handling the news. Whether that be anger or sadness, you don’t want it to control your days and life, so it’s important to share how you’re feeling in a good way, not by yelling at your parents or expressing anger towards them but by saying how you truly feel. This will allow you to let your emotions flow and not be bottled up inside you for a worse explosion of anger. Emotions will be a part of life no matter what and by telling others how you feel, you’ll be able to live a healthy lifestyle! 
  • Communicating with your parents. Although it may be hard to talk to them about what’s happening with their separation, it’s important that you share what’s going on in your head too. It’s their job to comfort you and be there for you and even if they’re getting a divorce, this is still something they need to do for their child. If you’re worried that this will make them feel bad, don’t be because they are required to be there for you and will love you no matter the circumstances. 
  • Talk to an expert. Although for some people it may be hard to talk to someone outside of their group of family and friends, talking to a therapist can be extremely beneficial for all involved. If there’s anything you aren’t willing to share with your parents like certain feelings, a therapist is there to listen and help you through any problems you may be facing. 
Two people talking at a table 
Talking and accepting your feelings is a big part of dealing with a divorce whether you’re in your 20s or not. Even having a therapist can help with this since they’re there to listen to you and talk about any emotions you may have from the separation. 

How Your Parents Can Help With The Process 

Tips They Can Use To Help You Through The Confusion 

There are many different ways and actions parents can take to make sure that they help their child process their divorce in the healthiest way possible. Some of these ways can include: 

  • Make sure their child knows they’re there for them. Any sort of simple gesture like showing love and affection towards their child will allow them to know that even though they are separating, they’ll both always be there for their child no matter what. This will allow you to understand that even though they may be leaving each other, they won’t ever leave you. This is also a great way to comfort someone who’s going through parental separation. 
  • Allow space and time to comprehend. After a set of parents tells their child that they’re getting a divorce, there needs to be time to comprehend and sometimes even space to fully understand the news they’ve just received. Since it’s usually news that’s unexpected, you’ll want your child to have time to process what’s going on. 
  • Understand the child’s feelings. If parents are willing to understand that separation not only affects them greatly but their children too, then they’ll be able to give and show love even through a tough patch in their lives. They should be able to understand what their child is going through and show that they’ll always be around to help no matter what. 
A lady holding her son at the beach  
Parents will always be there for you no matter the circumstances. If they’re able to give you time to process the change and show that they love you, the news will be just a bit easier for them to comprehend. 

Change can be hard and scary especially when it’s unexpected or occurring at a time when it’s not particularly wanted. A parent’s divorce, while you’re in your 20s, is a great representation of that. But, if you’re able to be open towards your parents about your feelings and able to communicate with them effectively so that they know what you’re going through, the process should be simpler in those terms. Hopefully, this blog was helpful in figuring out how to cope with a big change in your life and if you follow the coping steps, you’ll be able to accept the divorce with a little more ease and tranquility. 

Jul 13, 2022