ocusing on yourself is an important part of growing up. When you are young, you rely a great deal on your friends and family, not only to do things for yourself, but also to do things with you. Learning to focus on yourself is a basic life skill that will help you in the long run.

What does it mean to focus on yourself?

Focusing on yourself is not the same thing as being selfish or self-absorbed. To focus on yourself means to care about your own well-being, and to focus on you– whether that be in mind, body, or spirit– before you start worrying about others. You can not pour from an empty glass, therefore if you are trying to give more than you have to other people, you will eventually diminish yourself. 

If you do not try to focus on yourself, you could begin to experience burn-out, get sick more often, or you could experience mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. All of these things do not happen overnight, so there are ways to combat them and turn yourself around before you get too far in.

A woman sits in a meditative position overlooking scenery
Finding ways to focus on yourself will make it second nature to you in the future.

How to focus on yourself

There are a variety of ways that you can practice self-love and compassion that will make it much easier to focus on you. Utilizing some of these methods to help with your own self-focus journey will hopefully help you to find ease in the process, and eventually you will not have to think about it. 


Journaling is a great way to start looking further into yourself and to begin focusing on you. It can also be a great stress reliever and a way to get your feelings out on a page to improve mental health. Not only that, but writing every day can help you to document your life and save your memories directly from your point of view, which can be great to look back at when you are older. 

Journaling is also a great resource to look back on your past self and evaluate what you can change to improve your future self. Although this may seem odd at first, reading back how you were feeling and developing an understanding of those emotions will help you to see what shaped you as a person today, and how you can evaluate and feel your current emotions rather than keeping them bottled up inside. 

A woman is overlooking a city from a high up location
Finding a hobby can be a great way to focus more on yourself.

Find a new hobby, or fall back into old ones

Finding a new hobby can help you to learn a lot about yourself. If you have any interests or things you have always wanted to do, there is no better time than now to try them. Taking a class of some sort to help you learn the hobby, whether it is online or in person, can be a great way to learn something new. There are so many different ways to find new hobbies that you can do on your own.

Picking up a hobby that you had when you were a kid gives you the opportunity to find your inner child. Whether it was a sport you played in middle school, a style of art you enjoyed in kindergarten, or an instrument you stopped playing many years ago– if you found it fun then, it is likely that you still may find it fun now. 

Two women sit at a table talking in front of a window
Going to therapy can be a useful tool to learn more about yourself and focus on you.

Prioritize Your Health

You are nothing without your mind and body. Just like anyone else, these make you human—alive and able to exist in the world. This is why it is crucial to mind both. Prioritizing one's health can help improve physical fitness, reduces stress, boosts productivity, and positively affects interpersonal relationships.

You already know that exercise, meditation, and a healthy diet contribute to overall wellness. But you may be forgetting one thing—regular checkups. Seeing your doctor at least once a year will make it easy to catch potentially life-changing diseases (for example, for women, the disease pudendal nerve neuralgia, which causes nerve pain in the vagina; for men, testicular disorders and prostate cancer).

Early detection can prevent these diseases or at least equip you with the knowledge and treatment combination necessary to alleviate symptoms.

Go to therapy

Going to therapy can be extremely beneficial for many people, and it can help you get to the root of the issue causing you not to make time for yourself. A therapist can give you a variety of tips and tricks to help you focus more on you and learn more about yourself and how your brain works. Going to therapy can be difficult for many people, and just like everything else in life, it does not work for everyone, because therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Doing your own research to see what type of therapy is right for you and choosing someone who you feel comfortable with is crucial. 

A person is waiting to cross a busy city street
Finding small ways to put yourself first throughout the day will remind you how important you are.

Start putting yourself first in everyday life

When you wake up in the morning, you need to remember to start doing little things for yourself to make your day better and easier. Get up, make your bed, get ready for you (even if you do work from home). Take your time making your coffee or tea in the morning to make it special, and ensure that you are eating 3 meals a day to keep your body healthy and strong. Move your body every day, even if it is just a short walk. Doing the small things every day will make it easier for you to do the big things for yourself in the long run. 

A person stands on a cliff overlooking a body of water
Getting serious about what you want in life is a step towards focusing more on you than on others.

Get serious about what you want

It is totally fine not to have your whole life figured out, especially when you are young. But, if you are not serious about your future goals and your career, or whatever it is that you may want in life, then you will never be able to figure yourself out. Figuring out what you want in life is a step in the right direction towards focusing on you. No one is going to create your career for you, and no one will plan out your future step by step. You are the only person who can do that, so take charge in your own life and go after what you want. 

In addition to this, you must stop comparing yourself to other people. Not everyone's journey is the same– most do not even look similar. When it comes to your career or your dream job, it is great to have a mentor or someone to look up to, but you cannot compare yourself to them when they were getting to where they are. Focus on yourself and what you need to do to get there rather than how to do exactly what someone else did.

A couple holds hands on bicycles with the sun setting behind them
Focusing on yourself, even when you are in a relationship, is important for your mental and physical wellbeing.

Focusing on yourself while in relationships

It is extremely important to remember to still take time to focus on yourself when you are in a relationship– whether that is with a significant other, friends, or family. You cannot let your love and care for another person take away from the love that you have for yourself. So, you need to take time for yourself and try to make sure that you are not relying solely on one person for your happiness or success. 

Relying on another person heavily can come in many forms, whether it is a needy boyfriend, a friend who is struggling in her personal life, or a sibling who constantly dumps their drama onto you. Although building strong relationships is an important part of life, keep in mind that ultimately, you come first. You cannot let other people’s problems ruin the way you live your life, the way you see yourself, or your future. If you are focusing on yourself, that will not happen, and it will be easier for you to set boundaries. 

Woman looking out of a window while the sun starts to set
Shifting your mindset to better reflect a life of focusing on you is the most important step.

How to change your mindset

Shifting your mindset is a large part of putting yourself first and focusing on you, no matter what that looks like for your own personal journey. Start working on positive self-talk and affirmations. This may feel awkward at first, but it is crucial to shifting your point of view to understand why you need to focus on yourself more. At the end of the day, no matter how great your friends are or how close you are with your family, the person that will be with you forever is yourself. If you cannot find a way to focus on you, then you have to find something that can change so that you can.

Woman standing in field with the sun shining on her alone
Focusing on yourself is an important part of learning who you are.

Focusing on yourself can help you build confidence in yourself, mentally and physically. It can help you in your career, your personal life, educational life, and more. Learning more about yourself and understanding how you and your brain work is an important part of life, and if you worry more about others than you do about yourself, you won’t ever be able to experience that fully.

Mar 15, 2023